Serving the lady

dominant wife

Thank you for your posting. It has been inspiring to know other men also want to serve there lady of the house.

I am a married man that is working with my lady of the house to set up my position. It would be helpful if you would provide me the details of your position. It is hard for my lady to come up with rules and guidelines for me. Training in this area is not readily available.

My intention is to please my lady.

Sincerely,
Help Me R77

R77 brings up a good point – there is very little training available for the partners in a female led marriage. I have, however, found AboutFLR.com and She-Makes-the Rules.com somewhat helpful.

In many ways this blog is a very personal guide to how one couple has arranged a female led marriage.

Critically, every couple is different. Some women are naturally dominant, others absolutely the opposite: and most fall somewhere in between. But, if we have learned anything in our relationship it is that dominance and submission are a very small part of our world. In fact, a naturally rather submissive woman can led a marriage simply by setting her own standards very high.

For a lovingly obedient husband, accepting the primacy of his wife can often start in the bedroom. Essentially, a surrendered husband has no sexual “rights”. Sex, in all its wonderful variety, becomes soley for her pleasure.

In a sense this is the chasity of the will. While an obedient husband may very well be thinking about having sex (or gaining relief) all the time, his behaviour is entirely determined by his wife’s needs and desires.

In my experience, women are quite cyclical so be prepared to be chaste for weeks at a time. But even at their lustiest, women who are not loved and pampered, are unlikely to be paying much attention to their sexual stirrings, much less yours.

Which suggests the next level of commitment; your objective is to make your wife feel wonderful, cherished, beautiful. You also need to embrace her authority and respect her decisions and requirements. To give a simple example, I used to say “I am popping down to the pub.” on my way out the door. Now, most of the time, I ask, “May I go to the pub?” and accept the fact my wife can, and does, say, “No”.

Simple, everyday, actions can make a huge difference. You make the bed, you pick up and fold/hang up her clothes. You check to see if her boots need polishing and dust her shoes and bags. If your wife will let you, hand wash her lingerie and stockings.

Rise when your lady enters the room, pay attention to what she wants to talk about, defer to her opinion, be very well mannered indeed.

Now all of the above could be done by a loving, attentive man without the existence of a female led element in the relationship. However, a wife will soon grow very used to this level of service and subordination. She will take it as the proper way for her house to be ordered. Her standards will become more demanding. And, should you fail to meet them or simply to ensure your obedience, the lady of the house is quite likely to add a measure of discipline to her regime.

More on that in a subsequent post.

And thank you for asking.

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