As a couple we are discreet but there is little doubt amongst our friends and the various people we deal with that our marriage is female led. We don’t make a big deal of it but, as an example, if Hannah invites a girlfriend over I am simply expected to serve and to, once I have seen to their wine and hors d’oeurves make myself scarce. Sometimes Hannah will ring her little crystal bell if she needs anything, if she doesn’t, after about half an hour, I will go and check to make sure everything is satisfactory. Many times in our marriage, women have commented on how “well trained” I am. Hannah simply agrees.
When we are out in public my role is very much to defer to Hannah. And this can and does include carrying her purse when she is shopping or holding clothes she wishes to try on. My position is often noticed by shop girls. Now a lot of this is simply good manners. However, being told in a hair salon to “Wait here” while Hannah is attended to is more than just good manners. It is the public assertion of authority.
That assertion is even more evident if we have one of her girlfriends over for dinner. I will be included to a degree but Hannah thinks nothing of telling me “So darling, clear up the dishes and off you go to bed.” while she entertains her guest. And, on more than one occasion, where I have been a bit forward, she has said in front of one or two girlfriends, “That’s enough of that, you go upstairs to your corner and I will ring when you can come back down.”
She is less assertive when we are entertaining a couple, she does not like to weaken me in front of other men; but she has no hesitation in using her feminine authority when I am the only male present.
While Hannah does not often discuss our sex life with her girlfriends, I have been present when she has been asked for advice by a friend and she is very direct. “Right from the go you should make it very clear to your boyfriend/husband that you are in charge. Just tell him that you’ll be having sex when you want to have sex and only then.” The ladies usually look a bit surprised or shocked but the ones who try this method tend to visit often and seem very happy.
I often wonder if Hannah’s friends’ husbands are put in chastity or caned. But it is not something which men talk about.