Hannah has posted at her blog about What Women Want. Of course I agree with what she’s said, especially when she says that men are not good at guessing. But there is nothing less attractive in a relationship than to have one partner having to tell the other what to do constantly. Especially when it comes to something like “romance”. A submissive husband needs to get that one right on his own.
First thing to know as a submissive husband: for women the whole romance/sex matrix is fraught. Many women have found themselves feeling pressured for sex as a price to be paid for a nice dinner or a dozen roses – or, for that matter, for doing the laundry or taking the garbage out. So, as a Man in My Position I have learned never to have the slightest expectation that any thing I do or say will lead to sex. Leave aside the fact that I am now in a cock cage pretty much full time, Hannah has made it very clear that I’ll have sex when and if she wants to have sex with me…cage or not.
While this chastity is frustrating it is a huge part of how Hannah choses to run our marriage. Which leaves me with a very easy route to romance. I buy her pretty things, make delicious food and remember flowers as a matter of course without the slightest expectation of sex. More to the point, I pay attention to her, ask her questions, compliment her, help her with her stockings, run and scent her bath simply to love and serve her…
The point being that romance, paying attention, being in love is the full-time occupation. Sex, per se, is a delightful bonus. Not that The Lady of the House is unaware. She loves to tease and she certainly enjoys my oral attentions on a very regular basis. But I am under no illusion; most of that is for her pleasure. As it should be.