Coming Out: the Public Female Lead Life

celebrating your female lead marriageTo tell or not to tell…The lady of the house is very, very private. WE have family, business friends and virtually no “kinky” friends. And yet, there was Hannah telling an old friend about how she would correct my rudeness or lack of respect.

The decision to share a particular marital dynamic is touchy – after all there is such a thing as over-sharing.

However, a well trained man in my position brings something to a marriage which people notice. I do as I am told. I occasionally refer to Hannah as “ma’am”. If we are entertaining and the maid is not here, I serve. I rise when Hannah enters the room. I let her lead the conversation (well, except when I don’t in which case I eventually remember myself.) She is the lady of the house and my role is as her servant/husband.

People who spend time with us are usually so self absorbed that they take a while to catch on. If Hannah is going out she usually, and quite publically, tells me to take care of a routine household task or two. Ironing, a bit of vacuuming, polishing her boots; but always in a tone which brooks no discussion.

So, at the moment, with intimate friends, there is no secret; but certainly no need to share. With the rest of the world we behave in exactly the same way as we behave in private although, where Hannah might send me to my corner with an old friend over, she is far to ladylike to potentially embarrass a new acquaintance with any overt sign of her dominion.


  1. I find that sharing or revealing aspects of a Female Led Relationship to others to be a touchy subject but one that is probably more healthful for a relationship to thrive since it’s not being kept a secret and the true nature of your relationship and happiness are revealed to others. How you do it and what you care to share are up to you, but I do feel there’s a place for a couple to reveal they are – indeed – Female Led and much happier due to it.

    Thank you for sharing your insights.


  2. My wife enjoys indicating to her friends that she is in charge of me. She enjoys their knowing that she is strong, but she also wants them to see me as a masculine, attractive, man. This is a balancing act for both of us.
    For me, the fact that they (friends and family) are all learning that my wife now wears the pants in the family, is erotic to me. I do not enjoy it when it is happening, but after it is done, the fact that they all now think of me differently is very exciting! How do you feel about your family and friends seeing that you respond instantly to your wife’s every whim? How do you feel when others see her correct you publicly?
    Thank you for your blog!

  3. When we have guests I do most of the food preparation, serving, table clearing. We have one couple with whome we are friends. The wife is a very good good, and she has taken to giving me pointers on cooking and serving. My mistress smiles.

  4. I have been concerned about the idea of others knowing the full extent of our Female Led Marriage. It works well for us. I am responsible for cooking cleaning etc and when we entertain I guess it’s obvious that my wife is in charge as I do most if not all of the cooking and serving. We have had many conversations about my feelings regarding anyone knowing about our arrangement. Recently while we were entertaining I angered my wife and with no warning she ordered me to the bedroom. I knew better but momentarily hesitated. My wife asked me if I wanted to be dealt with right there and I quickly made my way back to the bedroom where she gave me on heck of a spanking. No doubt everyone could hear even though I tried my best not to squawk too much but I still made enough of a fuss that it increased my humiliation. My wife was resolute that next time I will get it then and there. She seemed to get some extra sense of satisfaction showing her friends how contrite I was.

  5. We live in a role-reversed marriage for quite a number of years now. Everybody around us knows that my wife is responsible for all major decisions and that I would never dare to argue. Sometimes it is humiliating in front of others and yet so much a turn-on for me, seeing we are on the right way, making me so proud of my wife in charge. When I retired from work nearly 3 years ago (while she is still working), I took over all the housework completely. My wife is praizing my cooking and proudly sharing she has a wonderful “housewife” at home. And if there is any need I can tell friends, as a lame excuse, that I am paying back now what she has done for so many years in the past. Many of our friends, and relatives, don´t know however that she keeps me in skirts and dresses most of the time. It would be a massive release if we could open up completely. This remains my wife´s decision finally. So far she is not ready for full-scale presenting her sissy husband in public. But (dreaming…) who knows what might come in future ?

    1. I think there is a difference between being matter of fact about an FLR and being presented to friends and relatives in a dress. The former is different but not “shocking”, the later is going to cause a fair bit of confusion and uncertainty. How a marriage is organized privately is one thing, the public face is another.

      Hannah has, on occasion, had me dress in a feminine manner and serve her girlfriends, but that is very much a private thing.

  6. Thanks for the info. It is great to see different elements of what love is. I find it interesting that people who come to this type of love can’t work as equals in the sense of pushing each other up while working through different times of enjoying exploring different situations but not requiring someone having to lead. Both miss out on the development of both becoming a Tender Warrior, It is great and I wish you guys luck and hope you don’t lose the man you married with your feeling changing while losing respect for the love of the man.

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