A good deal of what the lady of the house and I are up to revolves around reviving a gentler age. And in that gentler age a woman of means and style strove toward a life which can only be described as elegant. Is that possible today?


It begins with a woman’s sense of herself and her position. While the idea of equality between the sexes may be politically correct, it is practically a non-starter. A successful woman may have a career, but she certainly has a home. In her home, whether acknowledged or not, her fundamental authority is absolute. The question is how she will use that authority.

A woman can, of course, throw on her runners and a pair of sweats, bung her hair into a scrunchie and get on with driving the minivan to school, sports, stores…All the while promising that she’ll find the time to change later in the week and then, maybe, have “date night”. This is a perfectly legitimate choice but, I suspect, accounts for the soaring use of anti-depressants among women. Is there a choice? Of course.

Step off the treadmill literally and figuratively. You children don’t need “activities”, they need mum baked cookies and lots of stories. You husband does not need date night, he needs to be teased and seduced by the beautiful woman he married. Your house needs a helper (a maid by choice, cleaner if a maid is out of budget.) And the help can be paid for with the money you save not having your kids in five activities and those “date night” bills.

Elegance begins when a woman takes seriously her right to a gentle, polite, cultured life.

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