I’d like my Husband to Follow

female lead relationshipNot every woman wants to lead.

In fact, many women are much more content in the more traditional role. At the same time, many women would like to experience the consideration, courtesy, respect and authority which leadership in a relationship creates.

The first steps towards leadership often involve the bedroom. A woman’s insistence on her own pleasure and then on her own pleasure first is the beginning of leadership. A woman’s recognition that her sexual cycle is profoundly different from her husband’s “always on” situation is another step towards leadership. A woman who insists on making love only when she wants to will tend to have a man either mad with frustration or delighted in anticipation.

At the same time, this wonderful cycle, also allows a woman to take control of her overall situation. Long before a man is punished for his transgressions he should be rewarded for his virtues. But a woman exercising her leadership will not do anything which she does not find enjoyable. Most women enjoy caresses and kissing, few are particularly keen on full facial blow jobs. For a woman to lead she needs to ensure that she has a repertoire of sexual pleasures and that it is her decision as to which, if any, her husband will be allowed access.

Of course men are sexual creatures and a woman has to carefully consider how best to channel this energy: chastity or, alternatively, a constant requirement for the following male to masturbate to her commands. In either case the gradual creation of the reality that a man’s sexuality is sub-ordinate to her own will ensure that a wife, rather quickly, establishes female leadership in her home.


  1. Interesting…according to my stats more people are clicking this page than the “I’d like to follow my wife page”…Hmmm.

    I would have thought it would be the opposite.

    Ladies, your views? (And of course, gentlemen as well.)

  2. My husband has expressed a desire for me to be the dominant role. At first it was very hard for me to understand. It is hard for me to slip into the dominant position because he has always been very dominant and it is such a big change. I really want to give it another try after reading your articles, it has helped me understand a lot better what he needs. Thank you for sharing so much of your personal life to help others in the same position!

    1. In many ways becoming the dominant partner where your husband has had that role is actually easier than assuming formal leadership where you have been running things from behind the scenes all the way along.

      A couple of suggestions if I might presume. Take charge in the bedroom. Make it clear to your husband that your sexual needs are to be met and he is to be chaste until and unless you give him explicit permission. While I do not wear a formal chastity device I can see the point of the lady of the house holding the keys.

      Remember that men respond to particular cues. When Hannah wants me to remember my place she’ll put out a pair of panties for me to wear. She does not need to say anything. Simply sliding them on reminds me of my lucky position.

      With luck you are both busy. But part of feminine authority is making sure that your husband takes a little time in his day to reflect on his position. For me that is often a few minutes spent in my corner, naked, nose pressed to a well scented pair of Hannah’s panties.

      I strongly suggest physical correction for disobedience or rudeness. And make sure you have the implements to make your point. Frankly, most women lack the strength to leave much of an impression. A solid paddle, bath brush and cane will ensure your point is made. And, for Heaven’s sake, don’t be gentle. He wants to be corrected and he will wear his welts and bruises with pride.

      At our house we also do maintenance whippings simply because my behaviour has become good enough that punishment sessions are quite rare – as they should be. While maintenance whippings are not a severe, there is no point in whipping a man lightly. The objective is to kick the endorphins in.

      For punishment or maintenance, make sure that you establish a ritual. Does not matter what it is but your husband should have to prepare himself and wait for you. Tell him which implements to put out. If you are going to bind him make sure he lays out whatever you are going to use. He should know his whippings are inevitable, entirely at your whim and to your satisfaction. He should know he is entirely helpless to resist. That, in turn, creates the wonderful sensation of complete surrender which is the dominant wife’s greatest gift to her husband.

  3. Perfectly said. If only my wife would read it, think about it and incorporate into our lives. I’m afraid she thinks FLR is all just kink….

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