surrendered husband

Pleasure

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The lady of the house is coming on heat – which is wonderful for her and sometimes for me. Last night I heard the happy words “Wash your hands” as I turned out my light. I hastened to comply and when I got back to bed Hannah made it clear my position was head between her pretty thighs, mouth wide open, tounge to work.

After a few minutes she decided to take matters into her own hands. “You watch and make sure you are hard when I am done.” This was not at all difficult to achieve. Hannah knows just how to touch herself and, in a very few minutes came beautifully.

“Now darling.” I slide into Hannah and, after a few strokes she began to rub and flick my nipples. I was very close and I was just longing for the sharp pinch which was permission to come.

It never came. Instead Hannah push down on my hips which is her very clear signal I am to withdraw. So I did.

“Thank you my darling. That was just perfect.” She rolled on her side and, in a moment or two was fast asleep.

It took me a little longer.

Shower Time

golden shower first thingI woke up with the wonderful desire to serve the lady of the house. We lay in bed and I stroked her back and bottom. It was still too early in the cycle for her to want sex. But she knew that I wanted sex which is fine.

At our house I can want sex all the time; but I won’t get it. Instead I get whipped, or I get an over the knee paddling or sent to my corner: I have sex when Hannah wants me for her greater pleasure.

But she can be very playful…

“Darling, we really have to get up. And you really need to have a shower. Why don’t you run a little warm water to warm up the tub and then take your position.”

We had not done this for months. I find it wonderfully symbolic and more than a little humble making, Hannah finds it puzzling. But I do what I am told and, in a few minutes was lying awkwardly in our tub shower listening to Hannah brush her teeth. She finished and I held my hands up to make a seat for her.

Bliss.

I took the rest of my shower and got to work…with a huge smile on my face.

Submission vs Surrender

punished husbandThere is no question that I submit to the lady of the house. My well striped bottom after my latest, fairly minor, transgression, attests to that. But a person may submit to another person while holding back a part of themselves. The entire concept of power exchange turns on this crucial fact. And that withholding is what, ultimately, I found dissatisfying the first time Hannah took charge a couple of years ago.

I’ll put it another way, in our previous attempt, I was chaste and constantly longing for Hannah sexually. Now I am chaste and constantly longing for Hannah. Sexually, no longer comes into it as my own sexuality is rapidly ceasing to exist as an independent force. When Hannah wants pleasure I try my best to give her pleasure. And, sometimes, rarely, my own sexual energy is of use to her pleasure. Mostly it is not. Mostly, if I have release at all it is into an iron saki cup guided by my own hand and, if I am particularly lucky, brought on by her teasing and then pinching my nipples – hard. And this is precisely how it should be.

I am not reconciled to my chastity, I embrace it. I do not submit to my whippings, I adore the hand which wields the cane. Her attention and consideration are all that I can want and all that I need. My greatest flaw, a surrendered man, is that I want more. Which my sweet Hannah understands but does not feel in the least bit inclined to give.

I am delighted with the scraps from her laden table.

Rattan cane for discipline

There really is a difference.

I found a source of rattan not so very far from our home. 32 inch lengths. Very in expensive.

I bought the lady of the house two lengths, one slightly thicker than the other. I might have drawn an interested glance or two as I travelled home but somehow two lengths seem less punishment cane like than one.

A bit of sanding and both are ready to go.

Critically, a rattan cane needs to be soaked for several hours or even a day or two. Rattan can easily dry and as it dries it loses some of its flex and, more importantly, most of its weight. A good soak restores both.

Having been caned several times with the rattan lengths I can safely say that they produce more sensation than any other implement Hannah uses on me. Which is not to say agony – for that the bath brush remains the mistress of pain – rather sensation in all its forms. Hannah is use getting the flex of the canes under control and there have been some memorable strokes which took us both by surprise.

The soaked canes are actually easier to control than they are dry and the greatly increased weight means as well as the snap of first contact there is a thudding finish to Hannah’s best strokes.

As with any new tool, the rattan lengths take a bit of getting used to. I have no doubt Hannah will master them. Practice makes perfect and it is my happy position to be used for practice.

Twenty light aiming strokes to bring Hannah’s eye in are actually quite pleasant. They bring the blood up in my bottom and trigger the wonderful sensation of complete submission. The weighting strokes which usually follow, where Hannah increases the force of her strokes and gauges my reaction to her severity brings and entirely different set of sensations. First, helplessness. We both know that she has the complete right to whip me until she is satisfied with the result. Second, deliciously, a frission of fear. I am afraid that I will not be able to endure my training. But then another, more wonderful sensation overwhelms me as the cane’s bit intensifies; complete surrender and embrace.

As Hannah whips she loves.

And one is about to be used on me for maintenance.